Drug Overdose and Over Parenting…A Mother’s Point of View

As a parent of a college student where’s the line of being a parent or butting out?

The hardest part of being a parent of a college student is that you always worry.  You worry that they may drink too much, drugs, unprotected sex, if they are safe transiting around campus, date rape, serial killers, etc.

Recently, my neighbors 27 year old son had a drug over dose and stopped breathing in their living room.  There were plenty of police, fire trucks, an ambulance, and plenty of spectators popping outside to see what all the ruckus was.

Now me being the ever so nosey neighbor of course, it was just the right time for a smoke break.  After the events of the day, I had a moment to really think about what happened and how as a parent I would deal with the the situation should it ever happen to my family.  I do have three other kids to raise, get through college, and then out of the nest completely.

Me and a co-worker actually got into a heated debate over drugs, my philosophy, and a few key issues affecting our young adult kids.

My oldest daughter and I have a pretty good relationship and I feel like we can talk about pretty much everything.  I say pretty much but I think that she maybe hesitant to discuss my sex life.  She has gotten a little uneasy when I’ve told her stories about things I may or may have not done.  We discuss topics frankly because my mom was not an approachable women when it came to certain topics.  Sex was one of them.  We basically got the one threat, “If you get pregnant you better find your own place, cause I ain’t raising no babies.”  That was our sex talk.

MMF and I talk about everything.  I want her to know that she doesn’t have to be alone in her decision making process unless she really wants too.  Sex, money, school, boyfriends, pregnancy, suicide, giving her friends advice or answering their medical questions about female stuff.  I’m all the way game for helping.  Where I’m not open for or even discussion is drug usage.

If she wanted to be a man…cool…
If she’s a lesbian…cool…
If she goes both ways…cool…
If she had a baby…cool…
If she’s confused…cool…
If she got drunk and danced topless on a table…cool…

Those are just examples of what some parents face today…

I/we can get over all of that.  We can keep moving with out missing a beat.  Drugs are a different animal.  You roll the dice in an unpredictable way.  Simple marijuana could be laced with all kinds of bad stuff.  Then there you are…addicted and doing whatever it takes to get that next high.  I’ve seen first hand what drugs can do to a person and families.  I only give the lecture at least once a week about her not doing drugs and that she doesnt need to experiment in this lane at all.  Just stay away from it.  She did tell me that she tried marijuana once and I think I took it well.  I think that her respect for me was apparent because we had a honest conversation about it.  The good thing is that her heart didn’t really agree with marijuana so she didn’t get that good feeling that everyone else did.  She almost got herself a one way ticket to the emergency room.  Lucky for her she survived and it was a bad enough experience that she won’t do it again.

Getting back to my co-worker, she said that I didn’t have the right to tell my daughter not to do drugs.  That she was a grown woman and that if she wanted to drugs that who was I, her mother to stop her.  I think my face turned red as a stop sign.  I went into labor with my child a full 25 or so hours before she was born.  She’s mine.  Her dad’s too but she’s mine.  I gave birth to her.  If she was 45, I would still tell her not to be doing drugs and that she should stay away from them.

The look on the mother who’s son who had just over dosed and died in her living room was just too much.  Luckily for her, he was able to be revived and they can try again for recovery but there are so many parents that aren’t as lucky.

So I ask you, my loyal readers, is there ever a time that a parent stops being a parent?  Does it end at 18?  Am I wrong for imposing on my 20 year old daughter because I want her to be safe?

Please give me your thoughts.

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5 Comments

  1. Very good post. And no, you are not wrong at all. Don’t ever stop. I’m a new parent, so I can’t relate to everything, but I do know that I appreciated my parents always being my parents, and reminding me to be the light in the mist of darkness. I’ve never smoked or done drugs for that reason. I couldn’t bear disappointing my parents even more than myself.

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  2. Ok I was reading this post and I really wanted to let that co worker of yours have it… They must not no how drugs turn a whole family upside down when I say whole family I mean the whole family from the mother and the father to the little baby cousins that haven’t even been born yet. Trying something once or twice is a part of life but trying something once can have serious repercussions that break a family and it might be 20 years later and it’s still not even close to being healed no one uses drugs thinking they will become addicted or that they will die but it happens to so many people. NO MOTHER should ever have to look down at their child being put in the ground because of drugs. The next time u every have that conversation with that co worker tell them the night you son was born you niece’s where at the hospital with you and they got word that there sister’s best friend a 13 year old was killed by a drug user high behind the wheel of a car. So if she was 100 years old u still should try to give her the best possible advice u can no matter what.

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