I’m getting to the point where I wish that my daughter would just go back to the “Did you know” questions instead of just lat out asking me questions. One Wednesday, after being home for maybe an hour or so my 11 year old asked me out of the blue if I was happy. Taken aback by the question, I ask her to “say again?” “Mommy, are you happy?” She asked me again and I just looked at her, shrugged my shoulders, and said, “I guess.”
The question raised more questions for me in my head as I laid in bed that night awake thinking why would she ask me if I was happy? The over thinker in my had to break dow what the question could have meant.
Am I happy?
Are you happy?
Why did she think I was unhappy?
Does she think I am unhappy?
Now your probably wondering, why didn’t I just ask her about the question when she asked, right? That would be using common sense. I’ve been a Sailor too long and getting to the point directly isn’t my strong point.
I think, Okay I know. Yes! The answer is yes.
My life is crazy and busy. The kids are loud, obnoxious at times but they are great kids. I wasn’t thrilled about being back on a ship but when I’m there I’m all in. My husband and I have different philosophies but yet we make it work.
Each morning when God allows me to open my eyes, I realize that I get another opportunity to be great. I will probably never ask my daughter why she asked me if I was happy because I’m just not that deep. Instead, I’m just going to live in this moment, with this thought, and this feeling that I’m happy.
I realized a long time ago that only you as in me can make me happy. I can’t control other people and that took me a long time to discover. Once I let go of that notion there was a part of me that became free. Once your free you can simply see things for what they really are. I’m happy with my position.
***Ask me when mother nature calls. My response may not be the same. LOL!