Yesterday, I was sitting down at my desk minding my own business when my Sailor decided that he wanted to have an honest conversation. I turn around and ask him what does he want to talk about. He said, YN1, I don’t think that your Alpha female type-ish. I said what do you mean by that? He says, “I don’t really think you’re an Alpha Female?” So, of course, he had my interest now. So I continue to press on…He then tells me that I need to be more assertive.
I ask him, who is it that he wants me to be more aggressive with? Does he want me to go pick a fight with someone? Is there someone specific? Is there something specific?
Now, I got to tell you, I don’t know where that came from. I asked him at what point has someone made me a door mat? At what time did or do I need to argue with someone. He tells me when a straight face that I need to argue more with my Chief. I then had to stop him.
See these new Sailors don’t understand. That’s never going to happen on my watch. EVER!
I went on to tell my Sailor that I will never ever have a conversation with Chief in front of my junior Sailors! EVER! Even if he is dead wrong! I grew up in a different Navy then him. The Navy I grew up in as a young E-4, I dealt with my next senior Petty Officer or my First Class Petty Officer and if I had to go and talk to the Chief that meant I was in BIG trouble.
After I told him that…there was a blank stare on his face and I promise you…I think I heard crickets.
Apparently, because I won’t argue with Chief or anyone else because in my opinion, that’s unprofessional that makes me a weak individual. At first, I was annoyed that he was calling me weak. Then I thought about how my Sailors used to get mad at a different command because I wouldn’t argue with my fellow First Classes. I have had to learn on too many occasions that it’s better to be diplomatic instead of letting people get the best of you in a negative way. That diminishes the good that I can do in a few seconds it takes to argue and fight with someone.
The saddest part of it all is that he’s so busy worried about me and my Chief arguing or not arguing then looking at the fact that he has a great Leading Petty Officer who always puts her Sailors in front of herself and tries to make sure he has everything he needs to be successful and yet that’s the only thing that can validate me in his eyes is AN ALPHA FEMALE PERSONALITY. Too sad.