Marriage…365 Days or Less

I know a guy who got married in June and they had their baby in August. It’s now January and he’s talking about divorce. They spent a lot of money on this wedding.  Made a big deal out of it and everything.  I’m just sick to my stomach with the thought because I just don’t understand how you can really know if your marriage will work if you haven’t taken the time to put effort into it.

I just want to smack him upside the head and ask him what’s wrong with him? I mean I don’t understand why did he go to the trouble of getting married if he didn’t even want to work at his marriage.  Is this the common thing, today where people get married only to get divorced?   What pisses me off even more is that he hasn’t even let the ink on the marriage and birth certificate dry before he started chasing skirts again.  He’s almost in another committed relationship.  Okay, there is no almost about it.  There’s already someone keeping his feet warm at night.

I understand that he got the girl pregnant and he wanted to do the right thing, however, we put so much into the planning of a wedding.  The process of going through a divorce is tedious and dreadful.  There’s no such thing as a happy divorce.  Okay, may every blue moon there is a couple that is happier divorced then married.

I mean honestly getting married, having a baby, and then a quick run to divorce court, it seems like it’s just so stupid when it’s been less than a year. Most of this could have been avoided from the very beginning and it would have been easier to do the relationship thing, use protection, see if the relationship grows and then and only then introduce a baby to relationship after you decided to marry her.

I don’t know maybe I’m reading too much into it but I just have a hard time looking at so many people who get married only to get divorced within the 1st five years of the marriage and it just seems stupid to me. Now if there is an abusive relationship or conflicting schedules that keep you apart and you never saw your spouse then that might be a good reason to say OK, I’m throwing in the towel but to not even put forth the effort to make the relationship work to is just a waste of time. It concerns me more that now you have an innocent baby involved.  From what I hear, both of them are being spiteful and using the baby as a pawn.

Don’t get me wrong, I didn’t start my family in the traditional sense at all.  Meaning, I am not saying that it has to be love, marriage, and a baby carriage.

I don’t want to come off as being judgmental or anything like that but it just drives me absolutely bat shit crazy to know that people make babies and marry people they hardly know and don’t put effort into relationships but they take the time to spend thousands of dollars on weddings and yet so little time is put into the marriage itself.

What if it was impossible to get divorced? Would you have to spend every waking moment trying to repair what was broken, or missing or incomplete? If divorce was illegal would you have to concentrate on making things right? Would you be able to overlook the things that might not add up? I mean I’m just curious because divorce seems like the out for people who don’t want to be in.

I read the stories about couples married 40 years and they are so in love with each other or been together so long that they die shortly after one passes away. I’m just curious, is five years, 10 years, 15 years, are these the new marriage goals. Is 20 years like the new golden age for marriage. Is 20 the magic number? When people get married today, do they set the goal for 50 years? Is 50 years the Milestone they want to reach in their marriage? Does it seem far-fetched?

I don’t know…these are just my thoughts and even maybe a little bit of a rant.

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