Vegan Chick Pea Gyros Who Knew…

Vegan Chick Pea Gyros. OMG!!! Amazing. Very delicious dish. I had to rearrange the flavor profile to add a little of me but shit I could eat these all day. Too bad I just come back from the dentist and my mouth was still numb. I had a hard time keeping my food in my damn mouth. (If One of my kids snuck a pic, someone would have thought I needed a damn baby bib) But the shit was so good that I didn’t give a damn that I kept biting the fuck out my tongue.

Roasted chick peas were the meat substitute. Who the fuck thought of this idea? Shit was on fire with spice but it was off the fucking chain.

Today’s side dish brought to you by the letter C as in cauliflower bitches. Okay. I’m being silly. I hate cauliflower or do I? I made barbecue cauliflower. These mofo’s were great. Changed my mind about fucking cauliflower. Shit was delish! Any who! I posted some pictures. If you want the recipe then you gotta post a comment.

On a side note, cause I just HAD to share…I got rejected from a vegan group on FB. Can you believe that shit? They had a questionnaire. Guess my ass was a little to real when I said…”I love fucking meat…it just doesn’t love me.”

Fuck, I’m thinking about some bacon right now. PIG bacon! Not that fake shit! I digress! Here’s the pic.

Nest

Have you ever seen Big Bird’s nest on Sesame Street? It’s probably been a while especially when it’s not shown very often. Big Bird of course has this massive sized nest, as he should since he is of course, Big Bird. I find myself comparing my nest to Big Bird’s. I mean, for a while my nest was pretty big. All four of my baby birds and Papa bird fit into the nest quite nicely. We had room to grow and grow is exactly what they did. GROW! And they grew some more and now they don’t fit into the nest like they used too.

Now, I spend a lot of my time perched up in my nest, spending a lot of time alone with my thoughts. It’s funny, as they get older, so do I. I have to face my own mortality, the baby birds having birds of their own, finding jobs and flying away. For a while I felt sad but then quickly felt refreshed because I remembered what Papa Bird said about that empty nest.

An empty nest means freedom. Free to fly to Vegas. Free to fly here or there. Fly anywhere! Sex here. Sex there. Booze in the morning if I want. Booze at night if I like.

Just freedom! The empty nest isn’t looking so bad anymore.

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/nest/

Trifling Ass Bitch

There are just some people that should get the Trifling Ass Bitch Award. Here’s a few examples:

The can I bum a smoke guy! Bastard never has his own pack of smokes but smokes the fuck out of yours.

The take someone else’s lunch fuck head. You know you didn’t pack a lunch…shit head. I just want to make a peanut butter and laxative sandwich special just for you.

Then there’s the over excited I don’t fucking need any more coffee guy…you know the one…spills the coffee as he pours, misses the entire coffee cup pouring in sugar, spilled the fucking cream, and of course the coffee ring…all left on the counter as he WALKS THE FUCK AWAY. I hope you burn your fucking soul…douche.

The guy who leaves every single takeout container in the fridge for at least six months. Then they ostentatiously ask…who the hell threw my food out? I guess everyone should watch the penicillin grow too. Fucker!

Or my favorite, take a shit at work guy!! Have you ever heard of a fucking courtesy flush you nasty bitch. Better yet, stay on the floor you work on and do that nasty shit down there.

Ok. My short list of people I who annoy the hell out of me and are most deserving of the Trifling Ass Award.

Oh wait! There’s one more. The ultimate ultimate, there’s the sunflower seed guy. This is the most trifling fuck of all. Sunflower seeds everywhere…on the desk, floor, and worst of all…in the trash can. But you were too fucking lazy to put a trash bag in the fucking can. Complete and utter nastiness. Something about human body fluids being spread all around for others to touch…fucking nasty.

Trifling Ass Bitch…

To be continued….

My Dixie

I had Dixie for 11 years. We had a lot of cuddles, a lot of eating, and many prison breaks that resulted in me chasing you around the neighborhood in my car. You’ve traveled to many places and you left pounds and pounds of white hair every where. You especially liked staying at the Hyatt. You snored the loudest in their comfortable beds. 5 Star accommodations for a 5 Star friend. We survived 10 vacuums, a few remotes, and plenty of great times. Above all, you were my eyes and ears when Junior was getting into stuff. He didn’t mind you laying on him as a pillow or stepping on him while he was sleep. There’s always room in the tent for you. I will miss you sooooo much my love. You were more than just a dog.

What’s your favorite hang over remedy?

Today, I'm just in the mood to talk. If I tell you mine…will you tell me yours?

I'm first and foremost…a Sailor. I have hit my fair share of foreign ports and excessive parties. However, there have been only a few instances when the day after was a disaster. 

The most absolute, utter fail, and totally over the top hang over came after a night of bar/base hopping in Okinawa, Japan. 

They have this drink called a Strong Island and to be fair, it's basically a Long Island Ice Tea on steroids. The potency of this drink…OMG!!! It's potent. After one, you have and nice warm fuzzy feeling. The second one has you pretty damn nice. If you are stupid enough, myself included, three or more, it's basically the phase before the blackout.

I managed to walk out of the first bar, in my stilettos and into another club across the street. Here is where I made one of many mistakes at this point. I put myself on a collision course to fail when I had to buy a drink to get in. 

Why??? Why did I do it? 

Cause…I'm stupid. That's why.

I ordered a Tequila Sunrise…yes you read correctly. I MIXED drinks!!! The first three really didn't take effect immediately but after an hour or two…mixed with several shots of random shit…the bulkhead was basically the only reason I was still standing. 

Fast forward. Some dumbass decided I should eat something. Worst mistake of the night. The ultimate worst mistake. Food and alcohol do not mix well with me at all. Just like water and alcohol don't mix well for me either. I can't have either one when I'm drinking. 

Long story short…I bar hopped a bit more. Then threw up EVERY WHERE in my barracks room. There wasn't a spot on or near my bed that I didn't miss. Sadly, I slept in it too. 

When I woke up the next evening, the pain from my head, dizziness, and the ability to make coherent sentences was overwhelming. 

The Japanese lady who came into my room to clean it left and came back with cleaning supplies and told me to clean the room myself. I have never been so grossed out in my life. Last time I did that.

Here are my top three remedies for a monster hang over:

1. Sleep it off if you can.

2. Steamed rice and 2 aspirin. I don't know…it seems to work for me.

3. If all else fails…have another drink.

I told…I'm a Sailor. We play by different rules. IJS.

What's your favorite hang over story or remedy? Please share.

Photos courtesy of Pixabay