A Birthday Letter of Sorts 

Today would have been your 75th birthday. I still hear your voice but sometimes it sounds like a faint whisper. 

I know your okay. I’m okay too. I wanted you to know what I’ve been up too since it’s   been so long and we don’t talk like we used to…

The week before last, I was in charge of a very big command milestone. I wore my brand new uniform (I can’t remember if I told you that the Navy finally made me a Chief).  So crisp, white and shiny. When I looked in the mirror, I thought I saw a glimpse of you…

Can you believe that in October I will have completed 20 years in the Navy? I reenlisted for 4 more. I wish you were here to see me finish what I started. 


I hope I still make you proud…

My oldest has been working her real grown up job for a year now. Can you believe she’s 23? Where has the time gone?

These tears as I write this feels like it was just yesterday and not 8 years ago. 

The girls are getting so big and so are their mouths. I find myself pulling a play from your playbook. Who knew…I would morph into sounding like my mama completely. 

The boy…a big handful. Spoiled rotten. Attached to my hip. Yet, he keeps the laughter in my house. He forces me to keep using my imagination. You’ve never seen him before. He’s so silly. He looks just like his dad. 


Yesterday Roderick and I celebrated our 8 year anniversary. Can you believe it? Someone has been able to put up with my crap for 8 years. His hair hasn’t turned white yet so I guess I haven’t “plucked his last damn nerve yet.” Your words. Not mine. 


After 8 years he finally got me a present with real meaning. Guess squawking really pays off. I wanted you to see it. 


Some things haven’t changed much. I still drink my MT Dew, vacuum my floors in the same direction, love my bacon, and desserts. I have stepped up my cooking game. I will probably go to culinary school next year if I can fit it into my schedule. We will see. 

I don’t want you to be mad because I haven’t been to your grave. I can’t bring myself to do it. I hold you in my heart always and I don’t need to go there to be reminded of who you are. 

Until next time, I love and miss you. Happy Birthday, Ma!

Love always,

Me

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Blur


It feels like yesterday when you were born. I had been in labor for hours. The pain of it all was so unreal. They gave me more pain medicine but the contractions weren’t stopping. 

Ten hours go by and then more and as slow as you wanted to go you suddenly changed your mind and in a matter of minutes a doctor lifted up the sheet just in enough time to catch you. It was a blur!

First sounds, first teeth, first steps, and your first year. Time can be so unkind sometimes. Moving so quickly, with each minute passing quicker and quicker. Like a blur! With a blink of an eye you were in kindergarten. 

My career choices made it impossible to be two places at the same time and during all the years I was gone. In its place…a blur

Now your a grown up and everything in between is a blur. I have some good memories and the guilt. All the wishing, hoping and praying. Still feels like a blur

Life is like a blur!

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/blur

What Kind of Mom Would I Be?

What kind of mom would I be…if I 

Didn’t have expectations?

What kind of mom would I be…if I

Didn’t ask questions?

What kind of mom would I be…if I

Didn’t make you keep the standards?

What kind of mom would I be…if I

Didn’t ask how was your day?

What kind of mom would I be…if I

Didn’t give you an outlet to vent?

What kind of mom would I be…if I

Didn’t have your trust?

What kind of mom would I be…if I

Didn’t have your respect?

What kind of mom would I be…if I

Didn’t push you even when you wanted to quit?

What kind of mom would I be…if I

Didn’t hold your hand when you were scared?

What kind of mom would I be…if I

Didn’t try to move hell and high water to make sure you had everything you ever wanted or needed?

What kind of mom would I be…if I

Didn’t listen to your long day at work?

What kind of mom would I be…if I 

Didn’t keep you company on your long drive home?

What kind of mom would I be…if I

Didn’t want you to text me to say your home safe?

What kind of mom would I be…if I

Didn’t always make sure your boyfriend always treats you right?

What kind of mom would I be…if I

Didn’t turn you into a responsible law abiding citizen?

What kind of mom would I be…if I

Didn’t embarrass you at least once a week?

What kind of mom would I be…

Didn’t make you mutter “I hate you” in your mind at least weekly?

What kind of mom would I be…

Didn’t check your phone?

What kind of mom would I be…

What kind of mom would I be…

What kind of mom would I be…

What kind of mom would I be?

Dixie’s Day Out

Sometimes I wish I could see what it’s like to be a dog. Just maybe for a couple of hours. These dogs that I live with look like they live the good life. But I have a soft spot for Dixie, ten years ago she came into my life after she was rescued. She’s getting up in age and was struggling to be able to climb in and out of the car so she had to stop going everywhere with me. She’s very heavy and trying to put her in the car was too much.  When I picked out my new SUV, I made sure it had running boards so she could get in and out the car again. 

It had been a while since she got to ride in the car. She got to remember again what it felt to be young again. She looked so liberated and free. This dog is well traveled and loves a good ​car ride. I’m just glad I could make her day.