Vegan Mushroom Rice

Guess who’s allowed to eat again! This bitch right here! After watching my family eat all kind of goodness and me having all my meals through a straw I’m finally getting a taste of solid fucking food. Hell yes! I missed it so.

First dish up for review. Vegan Mushroom Rice. Okay…let me tell you! This shit right here…it was good. I used baby Bella’s instead of cremini’s because I still wasn’t able to drive myself to the store yet. I was still taking some bomb ass narcotics. I also didn’t use 2 pounds of mushrooms that the recipe called for either because of obvious fucking reasons. Did you think that shit was going to stop me from having this first meal? Hell nah!

The recipe was pretty simple. I knocked this shit out fairly quick. I had to cook half of the mushrooms first and set them aside. Then brown another batch of mushrooms, browned the onions, added the vegetable stock, rice and let it simmer. Easy fucking day.

Now the only complaint to the actual cooking of this dish is that I think the ratio of vegetable stock is off. The stock evaporated pretty fucking quick even on a low temperature so I had to add more stock. The rice was still under so I had to add more stock. I think that I will warm the stock and cook this shit like risotto next time.

Let’s get to the real shit…the taste. Definitely needed less onion then what the recipe called for. The onion was very strong. Shit, my kids only got a few bites in before they start bitching about the oniony taste. I had to throw in my own seasoning because there were no spices on the recipe which was a fucking bummer because mushroom absorb spices so damn well. But overall the Mushroom Rice was fucking good and I will keep fucking with it in the future.

Thanks for allowing me to share my opinion. If you have any tips, ideas or recipes I can try then hook me the fuck up! Please and thank you.

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Gardein Classic Meatless Meatballs

I’m such a fucked up individual. No wait!

Let me explain.

They (as in my family) had meatball subs for dinner the other day. Mind you, I couldn’t eat them because of my recent surgery and I try not to force my beliefs off on them so I felt bad for deceiving them with meatless meatballs.

I tried to write this shit with a straight face but I can’t. Who the fuck am I kidding? I fucking did it. I switched the meatballs, didn’t tell them and they fucking ate the hell out of them.

I honestly love the Gardein Brand of meatless food. I can get my sometimes picky and critical food critics in my house to eat them without skipping a beat is a fucking miracle.

Anyway…I just wanted to share that I got my kids to eat their fucking veggies.

I’m Trying to Like You…Veggie Burger But I Can’t

I feel like we are moving too fast.

Maybe we should take it slow?

Was is something I did?

Was it something I said?

Can we try to be friends?

FUCK NO!

I’ve tried to season you. I’ve tried a different brand. I’ve tried to make us spicy.

I tried to dress you up. I’ve tried to make it work but…I simply can’t.

“It’s not you…it’s me!”

Beet and Pear Salad Remixed

I saw a recipe on FB for a Pear and Beet Salad. I sent my husband out with a shopping list but my ass forgot to add a pear to the list. For some reason pears aren’t up on my list of things that I have around the house. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out why. It’s simple! It’s a fucking piece of fruit. For years my existence has relied on Mountain Dew and Nicotine as my primary food groups.

Needless to say, I substituted an apple in its place along with a bunch of other items. I used pecans (cause I don’t like nuts…no pun Intended) and green peppers. I got this recipe off of a vegan site and the recipe called for honey. I thought that honey was on the no no list but depending on which website you go to I guess there’s a debate on using honey. Since I had to choose a side, I said fuck it and chose to use the honey. If i fucked up…my bad. I’m sure one of the vegan experts will correct me later. Moving on…

So let’s get to the real shit…the taste.

I remembered that I fucking like beets. As a matter of fact, I didn’t want the rest of the rabbit food. I just wanted the beets. The beets were sweet. I fucking love sugar. I guess the good thing is that the beet offered a better sweetness than me eating a shit load of donuts or cake. My waist will thank me.

Overall the salad was pretty good. Apple and beet on the same fork. Yum! Fuck yeah, I can definitely eat it again. I had to baked potatoes with my salad and I saw a video where they rubbed the potato with olive oil and kosher salt before baking. I followed suit and the skin came out crispy with a hint of salt. I wasn’t childish today! I ate the whole fucking thing. The skin was the best damn part of the potato. As for the pecans, well let’s just say, you all can keep that shit unless it’s wrapped up in some fucking chocolate.

Unfortunately, I forgot to take a picture before I stirred it up on my plate. But you get the fucking point.

I’m having surgery today to remove a tumor from my jawline. I probably won’t be able to eat shit for a couple of days. But we will see.

Beefless Ground

I’m still working it out on this journey of veganism. I still feel like these pre-made foods aren’t really hitting but part of this journey is the experimentation.

I originally tried the LightLife Smart Crumble in a breakfast burrito and I couldn’t fuck with the after taste in my mouth. Mountain Dew couldn’t even wash the taste out.

However! I need to eat! So…

I tried the Gardein beefless ground. I was skeptical and not really trying to get my hopes up. I decided that I wasn’t going to fuck up an entire dish trying this shit so I decided to make some rice and the crumble and have that for breakfast.

I added a little paprika and cayenne pepper and warmed on the stove.

Needless to say. I can definitely fuck with the Gardein Beefless Ground. The shit was good. I think I have found my new go to product.

Can you say Whew! I was starting to feel some kind of way. This new journey is going to be a fucking crazy journey. I have a lot of shitty bad habits. But my outlook is one fucking day at a time.

I even got my husband to substitute his breakfast meat this morning. Fuck yeah! One day at a time. Baby steps.

Carve

Have you ever just looked around at this big world and ever wondered where do you really fit in? Fitting in can be a daunting task. We say we don’t care what other people think about us. Yet we do. We say that we love the way we look but yet we peer into the mirror wondering is it good enough? Is it cute enough? Will someone say something about me?

The older I get, I am truly embracing me. I don’t care what people think of me. I don’t care what people say about me. I’m a little plump…I got the whole saggy boob thing going on. I even have the squishy butt that’s heading in the same direction as my boobs. Yet still I say FUCK IT. Who has more swag than me?

I’m carving out my own image. My own mind set. My own individuality! I’m playing by my own rules. Today I am eating meat. Tomorrow, I will be a vegan all day. The day after, I will be whatever the fuck I want. That’s the lovely thing about life it changes daily. It changes by the minute. It changes by the second.

Carve out your place in life. Be great! Do you! Be happy! Be helpful! Be kind. Fuck it! Be mean if that’s what makes you happy! Just carve out you!

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/carve/

 

Wild Rice Vegetable Soup

I’m trying to expand my palate and make veggies sexy again. LOL! I know. Nothing like a corny ass joke to try to buy time before I express how I really feel.

The soup…second attempt to make a healthy conscious soup that may stick to my bones.

This shit wasn’t it! At least not for me! Wild rice is up on that list with Brussels sprouts. The soup was OK. I would make it again without the wild rice. The recipe called for squash, cannelloni beans, celery, bay leaves, onion, and vegetable stock all in the crock pot. Six hours later…the vegetables were still fucking hard so I left it cooking. 10 hours later…soup! Wild rice and all!

Now out of all people in my damn house, I expected to be in love with the soup and to be the only one to like it. I didn’t expect my husband to like the soup. So…I guess since he liked it I might make it again but maybe with some brown rice.

The final product.

The kale is added last and I added some fresh cracked pepper.