Trifling Ass Bitch

There are just some people that should get the Trifling Ass Bitch Award. Here’s a few examples:

The can I bum a smoke guy! Bastard never has his own pack of smokes but smokes the fuck out of yours.

The take someone else’s lunch fuck head. You know you didn’t pack a lunch…shit head. I just want to make a peanut butter and laxative sandwich special just for you.

Then there’s the over excited I don’t fucking need any more coffee guy…you know the one…spills the coffee as he pours, misses the entire coffee cup pouring in sugar, spilled the fucking cream, and of course the coffee ring…all left on the counter as he WALKS THE FUCK AWAY. I hope you burn your fucking soul…douche.

The guy who leaves every single takeout container in the fridge for at least six months. Then they ostentatiously ask…who the hell threw my food out? I guess everyone should watch the penicillin grow too. Fucker!

Or my favorite, take a shit at work guy!! Have you ever heard of a fucking courtesy flush you nasty bitch. Better yet, stay on the floor you work on and do that nasty shit down there.

Ok. My short list of people I who annoy the hell out of me and are most deserving of the Trifling Ass Award.

Oh wait! There’s one more. The ultimate ultimate, there’s the sunflower seed guy. This is the most trifling fuck of all. Sunflower seeds everywhere…on the desk, floor, and worst of all…in the trash can. But you were too fucking lazy to put a trash bag in the fucking can. Complete and utter nastiness. Something about human body fluids being spread all around for others to touch…fucking nasty.

Trifling Ass Bitch…

To be continued….

“The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched – they must be felt with the heart.” ~ Hellen Keller

Good day to you.  I just wanted to let my readers know that I am thinking of them.  I hope all is well.  There’s so much going on in the world right now.  With all this noise it can be hard to focus.  I wanted to give you a reminder.

Take a pause, a deep breathe in, exhale, and take a moment to just be peaceful and in the moment.

Be a great humanitarian today!  Be thankful for your blessings! Walk in Love and let peace be still!

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Do you ever wonder if karma waits until your much older to pay you back? Have you ever wondered why some people can become elderly and go in their golden years with little or no issues and then you have some people that just appear to be tortured until they die?

I was comparing my mother and father in my thoughts today as I was pushing my sister in her wheelchair. My father was a real mean and selfish bastard for many years before he became a nicer person as he aged of course and when he died, he had a horrible painful fight with renal cancer. He suffered an overwhelming deal before he died. My mother was a combination of all sorts but generally a loving person with a good heart. Her suffering was minimal but she wasn't always a *nice* person either.

As I was thinking, I just wondered if their karma came back to collect and kick them in the ass. Then I wondered about my karma as well. I am human and I have did some pretty fucked up things to some people. So it makes me wonder. I mean, I know God forgives. Yet, I still feel like karma and God's forgiveness are two different things. I don't know. I was just curious.

Maybe I'm just reading too much into my thoughts however, it does make me wonder what will happen when I'm an elderly woman. Will karma come to collect? To be honest, I sure hope not because if it does, I'm totally screwed.

What are your thoughts? Feel free to share.

"When you turn toward the sunshine, shadows fall behind you."

~ Helen Keller

I try hard to not look in the rear view mirror. Yesterday is in the past and I can't change it. I can only learn from it and keep going. 

Who remembers this???

What’s your favorite hang over remedy?

Today, I'm just in the mood to talk. If I tell you mine…will you tell me yours?

I'm first and foremost…a Sailor. I have hit my fair share of foreign ports and excessive parties. However, there have been only a few instances when the day after was a disaster. 

The most absolute, utter fail, and totally over the top hang over came after a night of bar/base hopping in Okinawa, Japan. 

They have this drink called a Strong Island and to be fair, it's basically a Long Island Ice Tea on steroids. The potency of this drink…OMG!!! It's potent. After one, you have and nice warm fuzzy feeling. The second one has you pretty damn nice. If you are stupid enough, myself included, three or more, it's basically the phase before the blackout.

I managed to walk out of the first bar, in my stilettos and into another club across the street. Here is where I made one of many mistakes at this point. I put myself on a collision course to fail when I had to buy a drink to get in. 

Why??? Why did I do it? 

Cause…I'm stupid. That's why.

I ordered a Tequila Sunrise…yes you read correctly. I MIXED drinks!!! The first three really didn't take effect immediately but after an hour or two…mixed with several shots of random shit…the bulkhead was basically the only reason I was still standing. 

Fast forward. Some dumbass decided I should eat something. Worst mistake of the night. The ultimate worst mistake. Food and alcohol do not mix well with me at all. Just like water and alcohol don't mix well for me either. I can't have either one when I'm drinking. 

Long story short…I bar hopped a bit more. Then threw up EVERY WHERE in my barracks room. There wasn't a spot on or near my bed that I didn't miss. Sadly, I slept in it too. 

When I woke up the next evening, the pain from my head, dizziness, and the ability to make coherent sentences was overwhelming. 

The Japanese lady who came into my room to clean it left and came back with cleaning supplies and told me to clean the room myself. I have never been so grossed out in my life. Last time I did that.

Here are my top three remedies for a monster hang over:

1. Sleep it off if you can.

2. Steamed rice and 2 aspirin. I don't know…it seems to work for me.

3. If all else fails…have another drink.

I told…I'm a Sailor. We play by different rules. IJS.

What's your favorite hang over story or remedy? Please share.

Photos courtesy of Pixabay

Lust


I hear faint sounds of the running water from the shower. Steam billows out of the shower stall. Condensation beads up one the mirror. Silence as the water shuts off. Slam. The shower door slams and he steps out. Water is running down his body. He checks himself out in the mirror as he roughly drying his body off.

The towel is tightly wrapped around his waist. The bulge of his manhood is visible…like it's calling out for someone to listen. Lusting… someone keeps watching from the doorway, peeking as he prepares to put his clothes on.

Slap, slap, slap. The sound his hands are making as he puts lotion on his body. Those hands, nothing gentle about them. He lotions up like he is washing his car.

Yet someone is distracted. Someone is remembering how gentle he was. When his mind opens to his special place in his mind he lets his naughty side come out.

Those fingers, slippery tongue, and passionate lips that kissed, licked, and stroked those special places. Those fingers had someone lusting for him. As they moved methodically and rhythmically in all of the right places.

Slap, slap, slap. Just like that someone was reminded that those hands wreak destruction. There's no gentleness in them.

He's standing by the bed in his boxers all oiled up. Preparing to put on his clothes and someone is just watching, lusting and needing more.

No more watching. Someone walks in…close the doors behind them…

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/lust/

That One Song Will Get You        
A lot of people will say music speaks to their situation. Whatever you have gone through or are going through there’s always a sound that you can relate too. Then there’s that one song that will get you. 

 That song that takes you to a place in time or a memory of your life that you’ve tucked away somewhere deep inside. Over the years I’ve heard many people talk about that one song. That one song for me was “My First Love” by Avant. 

 It takes me back to a time where I was with my first love. We were together during my school days but for one reason or another her family moved away. We had made love for the first time before she left and we promised each other we would stay in touch. We wrote each other but eventually the letters stopped and the phone calls stopped coming in. 

 Once we were adults she had reached out but by then she was married with children. She told me that her parents kept the letters I wrote and never told her until she became an adult. She thought I had stopped writing her so naturally she stopped writing and had moved on, much like I had. 

 For a long time I use to wonder what would have happened if we stayed in touch. Would we have made it work, would she have waited for me, what would our kids have looked like? At the end of the day we both moved on and went our own individual ways, she’s become a success in her profession and I’m doing pretty well too but to quote that one song that will get me, “Long as I live, she will be my first love…..”

– Anonymous 

Marriage…365 Days or Less

I know a guy who got married in June and they had their baby in August. It’s now January and he’s talking about divorce. They spent a lot of money on this wedding.  Made a big deal out of it and everything.  I’m just sick to my stomach with the thought because I just don’t understand how you can really know if your marriage will work if you haven’t taken the time to put effort into it.

I just want to smack him upside the head and ask him what’s wrong with him? I mean I don’t understand why did he go to the trouble of getting married if he didn’t even want to work at his marriage.  Is this the common thing, today where people get married only to get divorced?   What pisses me off even more is that he hasn’t even let the ink on the marriage and birth certificate dry before he started chasing skirts again.  He’s almost in another committed relationship.  Okay, there is no almost about it.  There’s already someone keeping his feet warm at night.

I understand that he got the girl pregnant and he wanted to do the right thing, however, we put so much into the planning of a wedding.  The process of going through a divorce is tedious and dreadful.  There’s no such thing as a happy divorce.  Okay, may every blue moon there is a couple that is happier divorced then married.

I mean honestly getting married, having a baby, and then a quick run to divorce court, it seems like it’s just so stupid when it’s been less than a year. Most of this could have been avoided from the very beginning and it would have been easier to do the relationship thing, use protection, see if the relationship grows and then and only then introduce a baby to relationship after you decided to marry her.

I don’t know maybe I’m reading too much into it but I just have a hard time looking at so many people who get married only to get divorced within the 1st five years of the marriage and it just seems stupid to me. Now if there is an abusive relationship or conflicting schedules that keep you apart and you never saw your spouse then that might be a good reason to say OK, I’m throwing in the towel but to not even put forth the effort to make the relationship work to is just a waste of time. It concerns me more that now you have an innocent baby involved.  From what I hear, both of them are being spiteful and using the baby as a pawn.

Don’t get me wrong, I didn’t start my family in the traditional sense at all.  Meaning, I am not saying that it has to be love, marriage, and a baby carriage.

I don’t want to come off as being judgmental or anything like that but it just drives me absolutely bat shit crazy to know that people make babies and marry people they hardly know and don’t put effort into relationships but they take the time to spend thousands of dollars on weddings and yet so little time is put into the marriage itself.

What if it was impossible to get divorced? Would you have to spend every waking moment trying to repair what was broken, or missing or incomplete? If divorce was illegal would you have to concentrate on making things right? Would you be able to overlook the things that might not add up? I mean I’m just curious because divorce seems like the out for people who don’t want to be in.

I read the stories about couples married 40 years and they are so in love with each other or been together so long that they die shortly after one passes away. I’m just curious, is five years, 10 years, 15 years, are these the new marriage goals. Is 20 years like the new golden age for marriage. Is 20 the magic number? When people get married today, do they set the goal for 50 years? Is 50 years the Milestone they want to reach in their marriage? Does it seem far-fetched?

I don’t know…these are just my thoughts and even maybe a little bit of a rant.

My body…the confession

So I am like 40 and you know what that means?  Men, teenage girls, and little kids think that’s like OLD right?  Considering 40 isn’t really that old and I wasn’t born when they discovered Stonehenge I am still considerably young.

I do however have this problem and it’s not going away any time soon.  No matter how many times  I have tried to act like it didn’t exist…it comes back and stares me in the face every single time I look in the mirror.

Have I gotten your interest up yet?

Do you want to know what my problem is?

Of course you do…we are all nosey by nature.

I am/was/is ASHAMED of my body (all depends on my mood that day).

There, I said it.  I have confessed.  I should feel free and liberated now, right?

Wrong!!!!

I still want to get dressed in the dark.  I don’t want anyone to see.

Wait!

There’s more.  Before you get all judgmental on me…let me explain.

I have the whole saggy boobs thing going.  Add insult to injury…I have a huge bra.  Big flappy, saggy boobs.

The chronic flat/squared/rectangle thing going on with my ass.

Then there’s the hematoma on my thigh.  Try explaining that to men when you get naked.  Or when it’s visible from the pants or shorts that I am wearing.  Just imagine…all of your friends wearing daisy dukes and your wearing Capri pants in the summer time.

Also, the protruding ribs.  My short lived efforts at being a dare devil!  The little jump off of the steps with my bike that went horribly wrong.  At least I lived to tell the tale, right?

Oh, then there’s the stretch marks.  I have had them since I hit puberty.  It was weird being so young in a cover up.  Not sure that I wanted the world to see my woman marks.  I never wore bikini’s or bathing suits without trying to mask my disgrace.

Did I forget to mention…the muffin top…the last kid really did me in.  I didn’t snap back like I did with the other two.

Oh let’s not forget, Bucky the Beaver.  I was called this a lot by kids when I was little.  I had a massive gap and these huge, discolored front teeth (again…being the tom boy that I was…another story for another day), and these two pig tales that just screamed…not cute at ALL.

So let me run it down…big gut, huge lump, flat ass, and a partridge and a pear tree…

Yeah…that’s me…so insecure…so ashamed.

I won’t blame all the magazines with the insanely skinny women.

I won’t blame the doctors that poke needles in people’s faces to make them look young again.

I won’t blame my parents for their genetic make up.  Although…it is technically their fault…

I won’t blame my love for peanut butter Oreo’s in the middle of the night either.

I won’t blame my love for red meat, cakes, pies, cookies and the best of all…plain Lay’s potato chips…

I won’t even blame my reckless behavior while being a kid…

Or the three kids that I gave birth too.  Even though, I have had saggy boobs since I was 15.

I won’t even blame my age either.

I won’t blame anyone or anything.

At the end of the day…every part of my body is a reminder of something that I did that was wonderful, great, and the not so great.

I won’t say that I am 100 percent comfortable in my own skin.

I will say that every lump, bump, or sag has a story and most of those stories mean something special to me.

I tell you what I do know, that I’m the ugly duckling that turned into a beautiful swan… I grew into my teeth too.

I love me some me.

There’s not a day that goes by that I don’t take an opportunity to take a selfie. (Usually from the neck up)

Please believe that I may not like being naked but I absolutely love a curvy dress, fabulous make up and some F*** me pumps.

I’m done confessing for today.  Do you have something to confess to today?