Have you ever seen Big Bird’s nest on Sesame Street? It’s probably been a while especially when it’s not shown very often. Big Bird of course has this massive sized nest, as he should since he is of course, Big Bird. I find myself comparing my nest to Big Bird’s. I mean, for a while my nest was pretty big. All four of my baby birds and Papa bird fit into the nest quite nicely. We had room to grow and grow is exactly what they did. GROW! And they grew some more and now they don’t fit into the nest like they used too.

Now, I spend a lot of my time perched up in my nest, spending a lot of time alone with my thoughts. It’s funny, as they get older, so do I. I have to face my own mortality, the baby birds having birds of their own, finding jobs and flying away. For a while I felt sad but then quickly felt refreshed because I remembered what Papa Bird said about that empty nest.

An empty nest means freedom. Free to fly to Vegas. Free to fly here or there. Fly anywhere! Sex here. Sex there. Booze in the morning if I want. Booze at night if I like.

Just freedom! The empty nest isn’t looking so bad anymore.

Sunday Humor…Red Light Drivers


Have you ever paid close attention to people in their cars when there’s a red light?

As a rule I’m normally in my own little world as I’m driving.  I usually try very hard not to make eye contact with anyone.  Lately, I’ve been making an exception to my rule.  I have decided for blog purposes I will try to more aware of my surroundings.

Here are few of my observations:

There’s the White Knuckle Driver.

It’s usually a woman in the mini van with a car load of kids.  She’s usually the slow moving vehicle that’s in the fast lane.  She’s extra cautious and annoying as hell to the drivers around her.  She takes the extra 10 seconds to make sure that traffic is completely stopped before proceeding.  I’m the asshole behind her honking my horn.

Nose Picker Guy.

Every three or four cars there’s a man without a care in the world sitting in the drivers seat with his finger jammed up his nose.  Incidentally, he sees you looking at him with disgust and he keeps on digging.  I sure hope he finds what he’s looking for.

Rocking Out Guy.

This guy’s radio is so loud that you can hear it over your own radio.  He’s super engrossed in the music and dancing that his car is bouncing all over the place.  Then the light changes and he snaps out of his trance and smashes the gas petal.  This used to be my husband until he turned into the next guy.

Fake NASCAR Driver.

This person (man or woman) looks at every green light as the start of their very own NASCAR race. This person is anxiously awaiting the light changing. They are so focused they’ve studied the traffic light patterns so that they can hit the gas as soon as it changes, they go from 0 to 60 in two seconds. They are the first person at the next stop light and then the cycle starts all over again.

Now I’m guilty, all things considered, I am the fake NASCAR driver whether I’m driving my mustang or the baby bus. I have the lead foot and I must be the leader of the pack. I’ve calmed down my road rage to a mere simmer. People are crazy and I’m not willing to gamble. Sadly, my engine pays for the sins of others.

What kind of red light driver are you?