Do you ever wonder if karma waits until your much older to pay you back? Have you ever wondered why some people can become elderly and go in their golden years with little or no issues and then you have some people that just appear to be tortured until they die?

I was comparing my mother and father in my thoughts today as I was pushing my sister in her wheelchair. My father was a real mean and selfish bastard for many years before he became a nicer person as he aged of course and when he died, he had a horrible painful fight with renal cancer. He suffered an overwhelming deal before he died. My mother was a combination of all sorts but generally a loving person with a good heart. Her suffering was minimal but she wasn't always a *nice* person either.

As I was thinking, I just wondered if their karma came back to collect and kick them in the ass. Then I wondered about my karma as well. I am human and I have did some pretty fucked up things to some people. So it makes me wonder. I mean, I know God forgives. Yet, I still feel like karma and God's forgiveness are two different things. I don't know. I was just curious.

Maybe I'm just reading too much into my thoughts however, it does make me wonder what will happen when I'm an elderly woman. Will karma come to collect? To be honest, I sure hope not because if it does, I'm totally screwed.

What are your thoughts? Feel free to share.

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It’s 12:45 in the morning and I have to be at work in a few hours. Yet, I’m wide awake fantasizing about you.

I already miss you. It feels like you’ve been away forever but it’s only been two days. 

I bury my nose into you pillow. I can smell your scent…the faint smell of your cologne. I squeeze the pillow. Holding it tight close to me. 

I close my eyes and I see you. 

I want to kiss you. 

I want to act like when we first met. 

I want to sit on the phone, talk for hours, hear you breathing on the other end even though I just saw you. 

I want to hold hands and take a walk along the beach. 

Pausing for a moment for a soft kiss. 

Snapping back to reality…

We won’t do those kind of things. It was just a fantasy. Real life took over this relationship a long time ago. 

We will text instead of actually talking. 

Work…home…fuss…TV…fuss…eat…fuss…gym…repeat!

Do you ever fantasize? What do you fantasize about? 

Feel free to share…

That One Song Will Get You        
A lot of people will say music speaks to their situation. Whatever you have gone through or are going through there’s always a sound that you can relate too. Then there’s that one song that will get you. 

 That song that takes you to a place in time or a memory of your life that you’ve tucked away somewhere deep inside. Over the years I’ve heard many people talk about that one song. That one song for me was “My First Love” by Avant. 

 It takes me back to a time where I was with my first love. We were together during my school days but for one reason or another her family moved away. We had made love for the first time before she left and we promised each other we would stay in touch. We wrote each other but eventually the letters stopped and the phone calls stopped coming in. 

 Once we were adults she had reached out but by then she was married with children. She told me that her parents kept the letters I wrote and never told her until she became an adult. She thought I had stopped writing her so naturally she stopped writing and had moved on, much like I had. 

 For a long time I use to wonder what would have happened if we stayed in touch. Would we have made it work, would she have waited for me, what would our kids have looked like? At the end of the day we both moved on and went our own individual ways, she’s become a success in her profession and I’m doing pretty well too but to quote that one song that will get me, “Long as I live, she will be my first love…..”

– Anonymous 

Pixabay

It is very rare for me to unfriend someone on Facebook or any other social media platform because I truly believe in free speech. I put my uniform on everyday with hopes of enforcing the rights of others and upholding the Constitution to the fullest. 

The very nature of being in the military means to me that my Commander in Chief (past or present) is off limits for discussion. No matter what I think or how I feel about his policies it is never publicly discussed. 

Yet, I had to delete two friends recently. One because half of his posts were down right racist and inappropriate and all of his election posts took me to a dark place. 

My daughter and I have had heated exchanges over the rights of others and their opinions. What really bugs me, even now as I right this is that I don’t care if you don’t like a certain group of people. As long as its verbal and not physical because as I said before, I believe in Freedom of Speech. However, his posts were over the top and even though I am black, I don’t or won’t condone someone posting pictures of lynching black people,  jokes about immigrants, crude jokes or mean statements about certain religious groups, or insane posts about women. I will openly admit that am not a fan of Mrs. Clinton but I do not think that a woman’s place is at home, bare foot and pregnant. This is only a brief summary of some of his posts.  My skin is usually pretty thick but I can only take so much. 

Now the other guy is a active Athiest and like I’ve said before. Don’t care because it’s his right. Most of the time, I can tolerate his, “Why would God let this happen if He was real?” Sometimes it’s pretty interesting to see the debate of the people that comment on his posts. 

Lately, his posts have been more hateful and graphic than usual. His post over the weekend of two conjoined twins being born was a little too graphic for me and there being no God really got under my skin. 

Looking back, I probably should have deleted him a long time ago but we have over the years had some pretty good discussions and even some pretty good arguments and too be honest, I don’t know why the video got to me like it did. Maybe it’s the not being able to see two sides to every opinion that got to me the most. We don’t have to agree but not being able to meet in the middle is a problem. My thoughts or someone else’s thoughts should be valued especially if you push your opinions down someone’s throat. 

After a couple of days of thought I have come to realize that even for him there is a line that was crossed. I mean it’s one thing to want your voice heard and even give good reason for why you believe what you believe. What I didn’t realize before is that even though I may feel it’s important to voice your opinion that doesn’t mean that I have to be the recipient of YOUR opinion. 

What I’ve also realized is that the first two were just the beginning of more to come and it’s time for me to clean house. Social media has become the dumping ground for everything that’s wrong with what’s wrong! Yes, you read that correctly.  I hear a lot of folks, myself included, say that Facebook is a great way to keep in touch with friends and family. I think that I may go back to the old fashioned way of doing things.